“You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I’m letting go
You lift me up when I can’t see
Your heart is all that I need
Your love carries me so I’m letting go”
(You Lift Me Up by The Afters)
I love the song, You Lift Me Up by The Afters! On days like this where I feel so depleted and I’m running on empty, I need this song to remind me the Jesus can and will lift me up in the times where I feel like I’m falling.
Do you ever have those days where you feel so overwhelmed and drained? Those days where you feel like you wanna run away? Those days where if feels like even the littlest bit of breath you have has literally been sucked from every pore in your body? Well, I DO!! Sometimes, I feel like my Superwoman cape shrunk and is suffocating me and that “S” on my chest is fading into a big “C” standing for the word “Coward.”
Some days (just some), I feel like I can’t manage it ALL. Matter of fact sometimes I feel I can’t manage ANYTHING at all. I’m tired, I’m exhausted, I’m wiped out. I don’t have any fumes left in my gas tank…I’M ON EMPTY. I can’t go anymore because the last few hours I’ve been “put-put-ing” around. There is no more “go” in me. The white flag is flying high, if you can’t see me waving it vigorously then I’m yelling, “I SURRENDER!!!”
I HATE those days. I DESPISE those days.
I don’t feel like “SuperWoman”…I feel like a big coward who wants to run and hide from all the challenges and giants that come my way. I feel like my world is spinning out of control and chaos is conquering all. Instead of swallowing my fear and facing my giants head on, I’d rather cry and throw a tantrum. I feel like a FAILURE.
I can’t help it, I have to be honest. I feel like women now a days have to have this, “I CAN” attitude all the time. I feel like we have to put on a front, smile and pretend that we are always “Strong Independent Women” and you better hear us “ROARRRRRR!!” Ugh, I can’t stand it. It’s frustrating not invigorating. I’m sorry, but we weren’t meant to always do it ALL ladies!! God didn’t make us that way. Why is that we feel we have to prove that we can do everything for everyone? Why is it that we don’t feel entitled to feeling weak or feeling like a failure when we have a bad day or two?
I’m going to give you the “Lasso of Truth” right now, my “Lasso” of truth…I AM NOT SUPERWOMAN! That’s right, I said it. So what!? So I admit sometimes I feel like I have to be a SuperWoman but even she has her weaknesses. Yes, SuperWoman aka Wonder Woman has weaknesses too! Guess what…”Wonder Woman is vulnerable to piercing weapons such as swords, arrows, and bullets. This is why she needs to use the gauntlets to protect herself from ranged projectile. (Which if the gauntlets are bound together, she is rendered completely useless)” I too am vulnerable and rendered completely useless at times when I have piercing things projected in my way that won’t stop. My shield is only so big and will only protect me so much. When piercing items seem to be flying at me with speeding force is when I need my SuperMan to come in and rescue me.
I am at that point today. I need my SuperMan aka Jesus… to help come lighten my load. I’m struggling with balancing all these things. Today, I want to cry. Today I feel like there are to many swords, arrows and bullets flying in my direction and my super powers are fading. Today, I feel like every limb of my body is being pulled in a different direction. Today, I feel like my heart, mind and soul are at a intense game of Tug-of-War. Today, I feel that I’m not meant to do it all. And today, I am reminded that I have help and I need that help to shield and guide me. I need that help to lift me up when I feel powerless. I have a lump in my throat and tear filled eyes as I write this. I feel rendered as “useless.” I feel like I need those big superhuman strong arms to wrap around me, lift me up and carry me out of harms way. You see, I know that things could always be worse. I know that there are women who are single moms (I’ve been there), women who are struck with other illnesses and on their death beds, and when I put it all in perspective I feel like that spoiled brat throwing a tantrum. But I am regular woman whose ‘ROARRR’ has turned into a weepy whisper. I’m probably no different than the other Mom’s next door but I can’t help but feel alone and a little ridiculous sometimes because here I am just trying to balance working full time, being a mom full time, a wife (a “Beautiful, Trophy Wife” inside and out), and also a good friend to those in need but I feel like I am failing at everything. If I give to much time to one priority, another suffers. That’s it…priorities, I’m struggling to put all my priorities into place. I’ve been slipping at God being my number 1 priority, at him being my foundation for ALL things. Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m crumbling or busting out the seams. Lately I’ve been so frustrated. For example, this virus going around has struck my kids and I had to take days off of work which I’m already on a thin line with attendance, and once again I feel like I’m being pulled in all these directions…My heart says, “I’m Mom first and nothing stands in the way of my kids and their health” but my mind says, “I’m blessed to have this job, and I need to work.” I don’t know, I guess I’m just struggling with life in general lately. I want to be “successful” at my job. I want to be “important”…I want to “contribute” to our home. But I feel so “unsuccessful” at being a Wife, Mom and Friend lately. I feel like the important people in my life have been put on the back burner. Once again, I’m struggling at just figuring out how to balance all of this. I really need Jesus to lift me up because I feel so weak. I’m hanging on to all these things, trying to do a balancing act with all my plates being full and I need to let go of it all. I need this to be God’s balancing act not mine!
Please tell me I’m not alone in how I am feeling!? Are there any other woman out there who just feel like you’re running on empty or that your superwoman cape is choking the life out of you!? Or is just me…a never-ending “mess” in need of a Messiah?
As I was compiling all my thoughts and decided to write this I found it amazing that the song I needed to hear came on at just the right time. God timing is so perfect! When I wanted to cry, breakdown and just run, God gently reminded me that He will lift me up. He will wrap His (super strong) arms around me and He will catch me if I just let go of all that I am trying to hang on to and control. This doesn’t have to be my heavy load, I don’t have to try and perform an amazing balancing act everyday…
Jesus reminds us in Matthew 11:28-30… “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Today I also came across this beautiful reminder:
Our King fights for His Princess Warriors! So everyday when you feel like you’re on the battlefield of “Life”…take comfort in knowing that He is there to help you fight on and make it through the day! He is our Super Hero! His mighty armor will guard us from the swords, arrows and bullets that constantly fly our way! We don’t have to put on the “Strong Woman” exterior all the time. We can give God the weight of our burdens because He can handle our full plates! We can let go and God will carry us…
Thank you Lord for your perfect timing in everything. Thank you for your gentle reminders that you are here for me when I feel burdened and alone. You will lift me up in my times of weakness. You will rescue me and give me your breath of life when I feel like my superwoman cape is suffocating me. Thank you Lord for crazy days and times like this because I realize I need those days to remind me that I am to lean on you in every aspect of my life. Forgive me for trying to take control of everything. I can’t do this all without you. Its impossible! But I know with you Lord, ALL things are possible! Please take these burdens I carry and lighten my load. Help me to get my priorities straight. Show me how to do this…Show me how to be the wife, mom and friend you desire me to be. Please take my “cape” Lord and put it in a special place for me as I choose to retire it. I am ok not having the title of “SuperWoman” anymore. Please just be my SuperMan and carry me Lord when I am weak…
” Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
If you are having one of those days like I sometimes do and you wanna scream, cry and run. Stop, be still, take a deep breath and pray. I know God is there waiting to carry you, strengthen you and lift you up. Listen to this song: